So, it finally happened! You met a wonderful man, and you had some wonderful dates. You were physically, emotionally, and mentally attracted. AND … it was mutual.
You know for sure, not just by the way he looked at you, but because HE SAID SO.
He was excited to have met you. He introduced you to his friends, maybe even his family – he opened up his world to you. He even mentioned marriage and children.
And then, he disappeared.
You’re hurt, angry, baffled – where did such a sharp turnaround come from?
Wasn’t it a special connection? Did you say or do something that turned him off you? Was he acting the whole time? How could anyone put up such a convincing act?
The truth is, there was no acting involved. This happens all the time. Very rarely is it a reflection on the woman. This is just how men operate sometimes.
But why?
Of course, there is no set formula to figure out every man ever. But here are some pointers to help you understand:
Pay attention to what a man does AFTER the date.
Amusingly, men tend to be quite mindful. During a date, they are very in the moment. They say what they feel at that particular point in time. If they tell you they are delighted to have met you, that is genuinely how they feel in that moment. But you must pay careful attention to what they do when that moment has passed. If he’s really interested, his actions after the date will show it. He will message you to see if you got home okay. He will quickly arrange the next meeting. He will keep his weekend open for you. You will be prioritised in his future.
THIS is how men act when they’re really into you. It’s not just talk, it’s ACTION. Thus, it doesn’t matter if you had the best date in your life; if he left you hanging for a week afterwards without making plans to see you again, that’s all you need to know.
It’s not just about the thrill of the chase
It’s natural to think men just love the thrill of the chase, get bored, and move on to the next victim. Although those men exist and it’s a gratifying answer, it’s just not that simple.
There’s a multitude of explanations, with lots going on underneath the surface for each of them. And let’s be real, it’s easy to plunge into an exciting and passionate relationship—without really knowing the person, only to discover after a few weeks or months that you made a mistake. A lot of us have done it, no matter what gender we are! Men just deal with it differently to women.
Good guys do baffling, hurtful things all the time—not because they intend to lead you on, but because they’re really just being in the moment.
One day he’d like to be married to someone. But it doesn’t mean now, and it doesn’t necessarily mean with you. Yes, even if you’re the beautiful woman holding his hand as he says it.
Does he like you? Yes, absolutely.
But he isn’t thinking long term with you yet. He’s just thinking out loud. In general.
This is extremely difficult for women to wrap their minds around, because they often operate in such different ways to men. They don’t offer up compliments and intimate parts of our lives, unless they really feel something for them.
Men are wired differently.
So How Can You Tell if He Will Stick Around?
You can get yourself into a lot of trouble by thinking a man will—and expecting a man to—approach dating like you do. You will continuously be disappointed, feel like a victim, and conclude you have no control whatsoever over what happens in your love life.
It’s a short-cut to misery!
Dating will be easier for you once you keep a few things in mind:
There is little correlation between what a man says on a date and what he feels in his heart.
Pay more attention to their actions than to their words.
Accept that men operate differently from you and use this knowledge to your advantage!